The Beginning of the End
Summer is over and the start of senior year has begun. Reflecting back on freshman year, I remember thinking that the seniors looked so old, they were all so tall. Me and my friends felt so different than them, but now as a senior, I don't feel like our class towers over the freshman, in fact, I don't feel that much different from them at all.
For most students senior year is something they dream about, but that’s not the way I saw it. Senior year was something I had dreaded; I don't think it had to do with the year itself, but more so what lay so close ahead. I didn't want to grow up and have to make big decisions, decisions that could affect the rest of my life, but I’ve come to the realization that it's going to happen whether I want it to or not so I might as well embrace it.
My schedule is what I wanted; I’m not taking AP classes like I did last year for two reasons, I’m still trying to figure out what I can handle. It crazy to me that I say that because I feel that as a senior I should already know the things I can handle, but last year I felt so overwhelmed. To be quite honest, I think one of the hardest things for me is that I’ve always had a huge fear of failure and at one point it made me not want to even go to college, but it's something that I’ve talked to people about and I’ve realized that I don't have to be perfect and there are people out there who will do better than me and that what's really important is that I put effort into what I do and and give it my best. The other reason being that I wanted to put a lot of my focus into college applications and scholarship forms because it’s something that is both time consuming, but also very important that it's done right. That being said, this year I’ve made a change and I decided to take courses that challenge me, but won't overwhelm me; Physiology and Spanish 3 are two of the classes that will do this.
From a very young age it was set in my mind that college wasn't an option it was something I had to do and I have no problem with that. I think that in the long run college is what helps so many people have stability later in life, but as for my career it's been a collection of ideas that is always changing, from doctor to forensic profiler to business owner. Recently I had thought about being an ultrasound technician so that’s what I decided to do my job shadow on but after finishing my job shadow I figured out that being an ultrasound technician isn't for me. More seriously I've been thinking about being a nurse in labor and delivery and I'm pretty sure that's what I'm going to stick with.
For most students senior year is something they dream about, but that’s not the way I saw it. Senior year was something I had dreaded; I don't think it had to do with the year itself, but more so what lay so close ahead. I didn't want to grow up and have to make big decisions, decisions that could affect the rest of my life, but I’ve come to the realization that it's going to happen whether I want it to or not so I might as well embrace it.
My schedule is what I wanted; I’m not taking AP classes like I did last year for two reasons, I’m still trying to figure out what I can handle. It crazy to me that I say that because I feel that as a senior I should already know the things I can handle, but last year I felt so overwhelmed. To be quite honest, I think one of the hardest things for me is that I’ve always had a huge fear of failure and at one point it made me not want to even go to college, but it's something that I’ve talked to people about and I’ve realized that I don't have to be perfect and there are people out there who will do better than me and that what's really important is that I put effort into what I do and and give it my best. The other reason being that I wanted to put a lot of my focus into college applications and scholarship forms because it’s something that is both time consuming, but also very important that it's done right. That being said, this year I’ve made a change and I decided to take courses that challenge me, but won't overwhelm me; Physiology and Spanish 3 are two of the classes that will do this.
From a very young age it was set in my mind that college wasn't an option it was something I had to do and I have no problem with that. I think that in the long run college is what helps so many people have stability later in life, but as for my career it's been a collection of ideas that is always changing, from doctor to forensic profiler to business owner. Recently I had thought about being an ultrasound technician so that’s what I decided to do my job shadow on but after finishing my job shadow I figured out that being an ultrasound technician isn't for me. More seriously I've been thinking about being a nurse in labor and delivery and I'm pretty sure that's what I'm going to stick with.